Last week, my family spent 3 nights in a lovely mountain cabin. This cabin had no tv, no internet and no cell service. Seriously. I found myself going to check my phone during our stay. I realized that I rely on my phone for everything.
My husband and I would be talking and I would have the urge to go “google” something. I would think that my daughter would love a new book because her favorite Easter book from last year broke (well she ripped it but whatevs) and I had an urge to quickly get on Amazon and buy a new one. Prime all the way. I noticed an urge to look at Instagram when nursing or just chilling because it’s sooooo hard to just chill. Like really chill. Here’s what I learned about myself:
- I rely on my phone for EVERYTHING. Period.
- I notice urges to reach for my phone and I know that I can be aware of these urges at home too and reduce mindless phone usage.
- I feel anxious in the mountains (well I love them really and could never live away from them but I am petrified of animals! I grew up in the flat corn fields of Indiana-no bears there. I seriously thought about bears all the time. I am not an ‘off the grid live in the mountains with bears’ kind of gal) oh well.
- I can make myself laugh. Like a lot. Over ridiculous stuff.
- My husband and I can entertain ourselves with making funny faces. Over and over. Until we’re hysterical. Seriously.
- I still get grumpy. Even in a quaint mountain cabin. This girls got limits. Nowhere is perfect. The scenery is just a part of the story, it’s in the background. I am the star and I can shine or not shine anywhere.
- We use distractions. So many distractions. It took some time to get out of the “what will we do without tv and internet” mode. I haven’t read books since becoming a momma and yes I consider reading to be a distraction, too.
- My daughter is just as happy playing with a few chosen books and toys and doesn’t need tons of toys to entertain her. She enjoyed hours of fun going through the cupboards.
- I was ready to come home. I loved this time away, but I was ready to get back to it. I love my life. Each day is a gift and I’m grateful to do my work and honor my purpose. Yay me!! (It’s ok to be your biggest cheerleader).
As we were driving back home, I felt the wave of stress return. I should point out that our current lives are not that stressful. I am blessed beyond measure to live a life of ease, but there are times of stress that creep in and guess what? It was still there when I got home. I still had calls to make, notes to write, and bills to pay. I still had tears driving by the ranches and seeing the cows, knowing the path that’s been chosen for them (vegan all the way. My husband thinks my emotional moments are entertaining, but I disagree.)
Life is all of it. The daily grind. The vacations. The laughs, the tears. Phones are not evil, but mine definitely controls me sometimes. My consciousness extends to each moment, whether I’m home or away. I can choose presence. I can choose peace. I can choose to let shit go. I can choose to accept that I have fears. I can choose to accept that my husband and I don’t sit and talk for hours, we play like children. I can choose to love that we are not exactly mature adults, but hey it works. I can choose to take the daily tasks one at a time. Be intentional. Each moment on purpose. I can choose to breathe. I can choose to watch my daughter sleep and trust in my intuition to parent her following my heart and my brain (I’m all heart, but I’m also a scientist). I can choose to live in the light. I can choose food that offers love and kindness. I can choose to not fret over what I’m going to wear. I can let the laundry go another day. I can intentionally spend time on Instagram and check in with myself to ensure I’m conscious. I can honor the bills that need to be paid. I can do anything. I’m a fucking rockstar. And you are, too. Let’s form a band.
Ok, the truth is conscious living is not perfect. It’s about accepting the imperfection. I am human. We are all human. We get grumpy, feel negative emotions and piss each other off. It’s ok. It’s all ok. Conscious living is trusting in our humanity. Trusting in ourSelves to guide the way. We may not listen all the time, but we can take the time out to reflect. Reflection is so important. Reflection is taking time to think, really think about yourSelf and your experiences. It offers a wealth of information, guidance, and truth. Reflect on lessons learned. If you think about it, you can think of any given moment from today and identify a lesson. It’s there. Waiting for you to honor it. Go ahead, try it. And continue to try over and over again. This can be in a journal or just in your head. (Mine is in my head these days, as my little lady loves chewing on pens, so I don’t use them often.) This simple act of reflection increases consciousness and guides us to listen more IN the moment, as well as after the moment. Slowly, over time, we will begin hearing the messages in the moment. Willingness. The first step toward consciousness.
I am writing this blog with light and love. Take what works for you and leave the rest. May you awaken to your Self, connect with your inner light, and integrate consciousness. May you feel peace. May you trust your Self. Blessings.
